Just a few moments ago I was sitting outside on the porch as the girls played. Trinity dismounted her bike which she had been riding up and down the block. She looked up at me from the bottom of the stairs and asked “Whatchya thinkin’ about?”
Honestly, I was thinking about my upcoming race. I had just seen a runner go by our house and I thought about how, a month ago I felt like, “I’ve got this.” I was totally confident I would not only finish the race, I would do far better than I could have hoped or expected when I began training. But now, my training seems better summed up by a scene from the movie “Goonies.” Chunk has just bumped into a large glass water cooler. As he tries to save it from crashing to the floor he yells “I got it! I GOT it!” and when his efforts prove unsuccesful he looks at the shattered bottle and water all over the floor and says more quietly “I don’t got it.” That’s what was going through my mind when Trinity inquired about my thoughts. I don’t got it.
The month that followed my awesome Provo Canyon run has been busy and my training runs have been the casualty. I’ve averaged one run every 4 or 5 days. Yikes. I used to do 5 a week. I answered Trin’s question, “Actually, I was thinking about my race. I don’t think I’m going to do very well.”
“Mom,“ she said in a tone that was entirely too grown up for the seven years of experience she posses, “It doesn’t matter how fast you are. It’s about having fun. So how fast or slow you go? It’s not important. You can just go as slow as you want.”
It was reminiscent of advice I had given her a couple of weeks ago when she informed me she didn’t want to do her race because she didn’t think she would win. She’s right. I may not be as fast as I had hoped, but the point is to do it and have fun with it.
Besides, I’ve given up many training runs this summer in favor of doing things with the girls. Yesterday we spent another perfect morning in American Fork Canyon, picnicking, playing in the water of the river, throwing pebbles, discovering tadpoles, and worms, and watching (and naming!) a fish who decided to hang out with us. Trinity drew x’s in the sand with a stick and declared “I’ll show you where the treasure is!!” She obviously meant pirate treasure but I had one of those Luke 2:19 moments. “But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart.” Would I give up those moments with my kids to have gone for a run? No. I have my whole life to improve my time, if I decide that’s something I’d like to do. My kids are only small once.
“We’re discovering REAL nature!!!!” Trinity yelled as she offered me a high five in celebration of watching a water worm work it’s way back into the mud. These moments with them are the real treasures. They’re the moments I store up in my heart. I hope they’re the moments they look back on fondly from their childhood as special memories with mom.
SO…I may be slower than I’d like in my race, but when I get frustrated with my pace, I’ll think of those moments with my girls and smile. I wouldn’t trade those for a faster time. And I will finish the race. After all: