Change is afoot. I wish that meant we knew where we are going next, but it does not. We will continue to sit tight on that one. However, this morning did usher in an entirely new era for our household.
Ever since she was capable of climbing out of her crib on her own Lilly has started each day in the same way. She stood at the window overlooking our driveway and blew kisses to Andy as he drove away for work. In the winter months that is over an hour before sunrise. She slept through him leaving once or twice and the heartache and weeping that ensued (that started MY day off with an inconsolable toddler) were really not worth the extra bit of sleep. So every morning if she did not rise to the sound of Andy getting his coffee ready to go, he would gently wake her, give her some cereal and the two of them had about ten minutes alone together before mommy would drag herself upstairs for our morning ritual.
As he drove off to work Andy paused in the driveway to blow kisses back to us. Sometimes Lilly would sling her arm around my neck as I knelt beside her and plant a kiss on my cheek in between blowing kisses to daddy. Before driving off for good, Andy flashed his brights at us and EVERY day I’d say”He flashed his brights at you!” and she would reply, “No, he flashed his brights at YOU!” Some back and forth and giggles took place until one of us would say “He flashed his brights at BOTH of us!”
We certainly knew this phase in life wouldn’t last forever. I hardly imagined standing at the window and blowing kisses with teenagers but outside events intervened to bring our tradition to a close earlier than it might have. As of today the schedule at Andy’s site has officially changed. That means he leaves about 40 minutes earlier than he used to. As much as I loved our special morning routine and sending Andy off with love and as much as it means to Lilly to see him off, I just can’t bring myself to be up nearly TWO hours before dawn to blow kisses out the window. We prepped Lilly ahead of time that daddy now has to leave extra early, he promised to come give her a kiss goodbye before he leaves but told her she needs to go back to sleep. I had my doubts this would work and had visions of a rough week of transition ahead of us. But when the pitter patter of little feet made their way downstairs today….there was a hint of LIGHT in the sky. LIGHT!!! Light, people.
A large part of me will miss blowing kisses into the darkness, feeling her little arm around my neck, and starting our day before the rest of the world. There is something sad about our tradition coming to and end. I know it was hard for Andy to leave with an empty window above him. But a small part of me has to admit…that extra hour of sleep was nice. I feel slightly guilty admitting it though.
I snapped a photo of our last kisses. Trin would sporadically join us. I was glad she was there for our last day. It’s not the best photography (and had to be messed with a lot to lighten it up!) but it does at least document a significant era in our lives.